SYTYCD Results: So Long, Chong!

SPOILER ALERT to anyone who hasn’t watched the results show.  Don’t read this.

Oh, You be solly fo not foting fo me!

Oh, you already saw the picture of Alexie, the girl who got kicked off?  Whoops.  Quit crying.  The only person who is allowed to cry is every single male on So You Think You Can Dance.

Good God, it was raining testosterone tears in that theater last night.  If they act like this when some chick they’ve known for two weeks gets kicked off of a reality TV show, I can only imagine the suicide attempts that run rampant when one of their dogs gets run over by a car, or they get rejected by the prom king.

Anyway, last night we said goodbye to Alexie.  Sad day, I guess.  I had picked Melinder to go home, and she was in the bottom 3, so I wasn’t too far off.  She’ll be lucky to last another week.

Did anyone notice how she looked like an old Asian guy, though?  She went from little cute ex-Laker Girl to the old dude from Kung Pow in a matter of seconds.  Amazing.

And how about those performances last night??

First up we had some couple dancing to Frank Sinatra.  I love me some Sinatra, but wasn’t feeling the dance.  Maybe it’s because you know… I’m a dude.  And I like… like chicks and stuff.  Totally.

Next up we had Usher.  Usher is such a badass.  He’s so damn smooth it’s ridiculous.  Seriously, I think he may have come into my apartment, had sex with my wife right next to me on the couch, and popped right back into the TV screen and I had no idea.  He’s just that smooth.  That song sucks, though.  Probably because will.i.am.an.annoying.douchebag.who.puts.decimal.points.in.his.name is the producer of it.  Ugh. The beat is awful.  Sounds like when your buddy is playing drums on the table and won’t stop but he has no rhythm and you want to punch him in the throat just so you don’t have to hear it anymore.  But yeah, Usher dances like a badass.

Then we had the premiere of Justin Bieber’s new video.  I hate to admit it, but it was not too bad.  It would be a lot better if Just-a Beaver weren’t in it, but what can ya do?  Usher makes up for him.  Did he just get me pregnant?  Maybe.

I especially like the part when they’re dancing and cocaine is just flying up in the air.  I feel it’s a nice foreshadowing of Bieber’s future.

Anyway, that was last night’s So You Think You Can Dance.  By the way, did anyone notice how Billy Bell did not look the least bit surprised when he was called safe?  Lame.  At least do some acting.  He gets on my nerves.

Does anyone annoy the crap out of you?  Any guys man enough to admit they have a favorite?  Do you think the results went as expected last night?  Let us know!

Until we meet again next week to watch the top ten, sayonara Alexie.

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One Response to “SYTYCD Results: So Long, Chong!”

  1. themanda Says:

    so i freely admit to living under a rock. my dvr finished taping GLEE! and it turned on the results show for this gawd-awful show (thanks for the biting the bullet to review it, btdub) and i was busy so i just left it on.

    omg all of the music was so bad i literally had to fight the urge to stab myself in the ear to make it stop. what is this bieber girl’s appeal? really? he’s got a douchey haircut, sings like a prepubescent girl, and looks like a lost osmond love child. i just dont’ get it.

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